LWM:
Hey How ya doing Havent been by my site for awhile. I got a new post up you may want to read. Hope you have A BLESSED Week
LWM:
Greetings and Blessed Day to you, there is a new communication with the ALBs if your interested.
LWM :
Blessings to you. Come check out the new Faery pictures at my blog when you can
LWM:
New Angle Like Beings blog entry, its has changed my life in a positive way. Come read when you can maybe it will aid you as well in these hard times
Meryet:
Thanks for stopping by. I was a lil worried bout ya! I hope you and your family are well! Give Amy my best ((hugs))
Meryet:
Hey Jamie! Just dropped by to check on you! Come on by and drop me a line sometikme!
Richmama:
Hi..blog hopping here..nice site you have here!
LWM:
Hi Stop by for my new Angelic Feather Project post
LWM:
New message from the ALBs at my place, come on over if you like. In any case my your holidays be stress free and blessed, remember you are truly an amazing unique spiritual creature and you are loved Sometimes we forget such thing
Fire-Fox:
Seasons Grettings and best wishes for the New Year from Bajan Fire Fighters.
LWM:
Come on over its time to fight the Dark Dragon within
mystic:
yeah the wolf is my favorite and then some ty for stopping over and i know what you mean about my comment ty again
naturalskeptic:
Hey you!! Hope you had a happy turkey day! I can't see what I'm typing so I hope it comes out!
bb:
Don't eat to much , have a good thanks giving.
mystic:
and thanksgiving blessings to you and yorus my der friend
mystic:
hope all is better for you hope you had a great w/e i sure did
Garf:
hi would you mind adding my link here? if so let me know..tnx
mystic:
what a great halloween i had wow anyway glad to hear all went well with you and yours have a nice day
Anna:
Happy Halloween and thanks for all your comments. Off to watch more horror movies. Check back about every two hours and I'll have more reviews.
Jamie:
Hey,I wanted to say Happy Halloween to all of my readers, if I have any, lol.
mystic:
oh i love love your page love halloween no matter how much i see that movie i still love it lol blessed bedo come by again
Amy:
Thanks for your comments about my bitty blog, yours is great. My kids go to church every Sunday, but we do not attend either. Well just wanted to say thanks!
Pam:
I found your url on Kerri's "Bible Blog" and wanted to say "hi." If she is trying to convert you, beware! Her knowledge of the Bible and the history of the Christian Church is horribly lacking. Good luck in your search and ... ICK! ... GO GATORS!
Lady Wolfen Mists:
Thanks so much for the kind words on my posting. Rosemyst will be missed. On another topic may I add you to my friends list?
yathie:
can u give me ur tips...? good blog!
Naturalskeptic:
Not at all! Feel free to add me! I've already added you as well!
Naturalskeptic:
I'll do that! Thanks for the tip! I think her books would really help you sort some things out ;) I'm always here if ya need a ear!!
Naturalskeptic:
Hey Jamie! Hope you have a great weekend!!
Quenidalee:
Thank you for stopping by and leaving a nice welcome. If everyone is as nice as you I am going to love it here. Have an awesome day. How do I add you as a friend?
Jennifer:
thanks for the tag!! and I will enjoy blogging!!! =D
Kris:
Hi Jamie! Thanks for stopping by agaiin and thanks for the comment! Congrats on JOTW!! You deserve it I actually posted those pics under "when I was younger", come by and take a look since I probably won't post more pics, like EVER!! LOL!
Rose Myst:
Hello again, thanks so much for visiting. I've added your link to my friends list. Hope you're having a great weekend!
Rose Myst:
Greetings! I just noticed that you had visited my blog a short time ago and left a comment. I apologize for not replying sooner, but thank you for visiting. Your blog's look is AWESOME, I love the Halloween theme! Would you be interested in exchanging links? Blessings, ~RM
Naturalskeptic:
Hey Jamie! Your halloween theme blog is always so interesting! Kinda freaky music though!
Kris:
Hi Jamie! Thanks for stopping by! Nice place you have here, I'll be back to visit again soon!
Hollywood Gothique:
Thanks for tagging. Hope you and your family enjoy this Halloween season.
Leenie:
Looks great Jamie... thanks for stopping by. Hope you and the family are all doing wonderfully. Back for a more in depth visit when I get some time. Until then..take care.
blackbird:
hope your having fun with your children, and your doing good. I'm able to post to my journal here now.
Monday, May 12th 2008
12:01 PM
My Butterfly...
This is to my wife whom I have had the pleasure of being married to for the last 10 years...
Amy, I know we have been through a lot, I know we have seen some good times & some bad times but I believe the good times outshine the bad ones. We have been together for almost 11 years now & we will be married for 10 years on the 13th of May.
However it feels I have known you longer than the last 11 years, you are my soul mate & I feel as though we have known each other in past lives & if there is such a thing as past lives I know I would have found you in them for I would be incomplete without you. I also know if there a life after this one rather it is in heaven or another life on this planet I will find you once more because you are my one & only love.
I said a few minutes ago that we have been married for 10 years but I believes we have been married longer than that, for I feel as though my heart was yours from the first time we made love. I remember that day as it was yesterday & it is a memory that will be with me till the day I die, & on my death bed it will bring me comfort in knowing I knew what real love was like.
I have our song "Butterfly" I smile at knowing why it is our song but it is our song & I never thought I would have a song that would be mine & my lovers song.
Amy I love you, you have been there with me through thick & thin. You have been there with me when most people would have packed up & left & let me fight my demons on my own.
I can never say in words how much that means to me, they say actions speak louder than words, so that is how I know you truly love me. All I can do is hope that my actions have shown you how much I love you.
Thank you fro the three beautiful boys you have given me & the one little angel we will see in heaven one day. I know you miss her, but I believe with all of my heart she is with us.
Pooh Bear Happy 10th Year Anniversary & here's to another 10 years of love & understanding.
It was a pretty day here yesterday, it was in the 70s, nbow today it is in the 40s, that is what you call strange weather, lol. I think it is only suppose to last today & tomorrow then get back into the 70s by Tuesday.
I watched "Resident Evil : Extinction", I was not impressed, I thought they didn't have enough of the main character Alice played by Milla Jovovich in the story & her final fight scene didn't last long enough. The first two Resident Evil movies were ok, but still not as good as I was expecting. I give this movie 2 & 1/2 screams out of 5.
I saw the "Day Of The Dead" remake, I was not expecting much, because I knew the story line had been changed from the original movie. However I will say I was shocked of how well this movie turned out to be. If you like watching zombie movies because of the zombie attacks then you will enjoy this movie. I will not go into it very much but I will let you know that it is a small handful of people against a town of zombies.
I did read one guys post on this movie & he trashed it big time, but I can't disagree with him anymore than I do on this movie. I give this movie 4 screams out 5.
For the next part of my post I just want to remind everyone the tdoc stands for theorist doctor & pdoc stands for psychiatrist.
Well it finally happened to me this past week, I went & saw my tdoc & during the session I told her something that made her decide I needed be hospitalized for a few days. I went in as voluntary admission, lol. It was either I agreed to go in as or she was going to commit me & you don't want to be committed.
If you are ever in that situation go in as voluntary, your stay will be shorter than if you are committed. I was in there for three days, I went in on Tuesday at 1:00pm & was there until Thursday at 11:00am. So hour wise I was only in there for two days.
The nurses there were really nice so were the other people that were. The pdoc was nice & he decided that I needed my Risperdal increased. He added 1mg in the morning to go along with the 3mg of Risperal I take at night.
I have also redone the way I take my other medications, Amy has looked up the medications half life & I have shuffled some of my medications around so that they will work better. This way I will take some of my pills again before the last dose has had time to ware off.
The hospital wasn't as bad as I had thought it was going to be, the worse part of it all was being away from Amy & the boys. At least if I ever have to go back, which I hope I will never have to, I know I can survive it.
I know it has been awhile since I last posted, I have just been really busy. I am still going over to my mammaws in the morning to get her out of bed & then in the afternoon to get her back in bed. Bob, (the friend of the family who stays with her) still has three & a half weeks to go before he gets his cast off his foot.
Amy & the boys have been sick, we have been hit hard with the flu, now my mom & Bob has the flu, I have been lucky I haven't has it so far. I was in the hospital a few weeks ago with walking pneumonia, I went because I was having some chest pains, they took some x rays & said I had pneumonia on the right side. So they put me in the hospital to start the antibiotics & to also make sure all the tests came back alright on my heart.
I have been diagnosed with diabetes, I have to go back this Wednesday to get my medication & go over all the information about being diabetic. Amy said I will have to start taking better care of myself or she will kill me, lol.
My tdoc wanted to put me into the hospital this week, I wound up burning myself so they felt like I may need to be in the hospital where I could be watched for a few days, but I was able to talk my way out of having to go. I had to sign a promise note that stated I wouldn't hurt myself or anyone else.
My caseworker was shocked to find out that I had never been in the hospital, I have been lucky, although there were probably times I should have been in there for a little while but I was able to convince my doctors I would be alright with out being committed.
So my tdoc increased my Risperdal from 2mg to 3mg & I have to see her once a week instead of once a month now. That was part of the agreement I had to sign to keep from going to the hospital. I had to promise that I wouldn't burn myself again. If I do I will probably be committed & I know Amy would kick my butt. She got mad when she found out I burned myself.
So that is what has been going on, I'll try to post more often than what I have been.
I know it has been quite a while since I posted, I have had a lot of things going on. About 20 years ago my mammaw had a stroke & it affected her mentally, then a few years ago she fell & it hurt her leg & she hasn't walked since then.
My mom & a friend of the family that has been a friend for many many years has been helping with her. He is 75 & a few weeks ago he fell & broke two bones in his ankle so he is unable to walk so my mom & I have been helping him also, so we have been busy.
I go over twice a day, once in the morning to get her out of bed so she can eat & watch tv & I help him to the bathroom & get his pills ect.. Then at night I go over & help get her in bed & do what ever he needs done. So between doctors appointments, going over there & having three boys I have been a little busy.
I watch wrestling, I love the Undertaker, he is so cool, lol, well he is!! I also like MVP, anyway they play a song on there that I like a lot & I just want to put it on here, I wanted the uncensored video but I can't find it, oh well here is the only one I could find, the stupid censored one.....
My Colts, & Titans both have been knocked out of the playoffs so I don't care who goes, I guess I could pull for the NY Giants since Eli is Peytons brother. My TN Vols won their bowl game on News Years day, so not all has been lost, lol.
Well we got some snow this past week, it wasn't a lot but it was nice to see some of the white stuff on the ground. It snowed just enough to let the boys be out for a day of school so they was happy about that. It is going to be could the next few days, esp. at night, tonight is going to be in the teens.
Amy has finally been put back on part time work, she was getting about 38 hours a week plus her school hours it was getting rough on her. She can't wait to get her tax return, she wants to get another car, right now we just have the van ever since our car was wrecked last spring. It makes it rough when she is working, having school & then with me & the boys having doctor appointments it is rough getting around with just one vehicle.
With everything that has been going on Amy had stopped eating healthy for awhile, but she has went back on her "diet" (she hates that word) & she has already lost several pounds, she hopes to be down to 160 by her Birth Day in June.
We took Jaydon to his checkup & his eye doctor wants us to patch his good eye everyday all day long except for one hour a day for the next three weeks & then she wants to see him again. She had to increase the strength of one of his lenses. His left eye is his strongest eye, so we need to patch his right eye. He is different from me, my stronger eye is my right eye & my weak eye is the left one.
Donavon has a doctor appointment this week, he has a problem with getting sick in the mornings, he is already on vitamin C, & Ferrous Sulfate (iron). So I am hoping they can give him something for his stomach.
Trystan goes & sees his tdoc, & pdoc in Feb., I believe he needs his Topamax increased. He has been having crying spells & he says he doesn't know why. I hate any of by boys have any problems, but I esp. hate that Trystan has to deal with his ADHD & Bi Polar.
As for me I am ok I guess, I saw my case worker last week. We talked about a few things that she said I need to tell the pdoc when I see her again. Which she will be there with me so she will be there to remind me, lol.
Well I hope everyone had a very good Christmas, & a good New Years so far. I know we had a nice Christmas, the boys got a lot of toys, Donavon's & Jaydon's room is mess, I need to go in there & try to find a place for their toys.
I need to get the decorations down from outside, I am going to try to get them down this weekend. It has just been cold the last week & the boys went back to school this week so there has been a few reasons why I haven't done it as of yet.
The boys were not ready to go back to school, they wanted to stay home & I can't blame them, lol, I never wanted to go back to school after Christmas vacation. We did get some snow this week, it was just a couple of inches but hopefully we will get some more before the winter season is over.
Amy has been working a lot the last couple of weeks, she has been working about 38 hours a week & that has made it rough on her doing her school work. She should be going back to part time starting this week since the holiday season is over.
She is doing good at work, her boss is very impressed with her work habits & people has made comments to her boss about her being very helpful & nice with the customers so she should get a pretty good review on her evaluation.
Donavon & Jaydon has their Birthdays in a few eeks, I can't believe it, Donavon will be 7 & Jaydon will be 5. I can't believe it, Trystan turned 9 last November, time goes by so fast. Trystan is on the honor roll this last semester, he made it a couple of times last year in second grade & now he has made it in third grade.
He has improved on his spelling, he was having some trouble with it, that is why he wasn't on the honor roll sooner. He has brought his spelling from an F to a B+ so I am very proud of him, he has worked hard on it. Donavon is doing great in school, he is getting all S's & O's on his report card so I am proud of him also.
My nephew Alex who is in the 9th grade has made honor roll, he is in band & he is also in advanced classes. He is a very smart kid, I just hope he stays focus on his school work, because he is getting into his teen years & you know how those can be, lol. He is a good boy, I think he will be alright. I know his mom, & grand mom has told him not to do anything stupid, lol.
I have been doing alright I guess, I have my good moments along with some bad. I try my best to enjoy the good times, I try to convince myself that there are more good times than there are bad but sometimes it's hard to convince myself of that.
I have enjoyed having the boys here for the last two weeks, I loved spending time with them, I love having them around me, even though they can drive me crazy sometimes lol. We have a toy chihuahua that is a really good pet.
He is more like a part of the family Amy says if anything ever happens to him I wont know what to do because he is all the company I have sometimes when everyone is gone to school. He is a good dog but he can drive me crazy also.
Amy is working hard, she is getting over 35 hours during the holiday season plus she has 12 hours of college a week so she is staying busy. She has homework on top of all of that she has to do & she has term papers to work, so she is staying busy. I know it has to get to be a lot for her at times but she is determined to get her degrees so I know she will do it.
Wow, the holiday season is almost here, we have six more days till Santa comes. He is going to have to make an extra trip for just the boys, lol. We separated all the presents the other day to see what all we had & Trystan has 18 gifts, Donavon has 17, & Jaydon has 22. I know it doesn't seem fair that some has more than the other one but the money that they cost comes out the same.
We have to find sometime to wrap these gifts, the boys get out this Thursday, so what we will have to do is probably wait till they go to bed at night & try to get some wrapped that way. Last year we had all of the gifts to wrap on Christmas Eve & that was a lot of work, plus we almost got caught by Trystan. So we need to try to get it done before the 12th hour this year.
Theres a new show I have been watching called "Paranormal State," it comes on the A&E channel on Mondays at 10:00pm. What I have seen of it so far it is pretty good. If you like "Ghost Hunters" then you might like this show. I love anything that has to do with the paranormal, I hope we live past this life so I like to watch anything that shows we just might continue on after this world.
I have about four "Phenomenons" to watch, we taped them when they came on & we just haven't had time to watch them. I was going to tape some more "Psychic Detectives" but I can't find it on the channel it use to come on, I am afraid they have taken it off.
I love anything thing that is "weird" I am just a weird person, lol. I want to see the remake of "Halloween" by Rob Zombie. He is a strange person & I mean that in a nice way, so I want to see what he did to this classic & in my opinion best horror movie ever made.
I really want it to be good, I hope it is, I may go on & buy it before I even watch it. I did that only one time before, I had my mom get me the remake of "Dawn Of The Dead" for a Christmas gift before I had even seen it. So I may do the same with "Halloween"
Anyway, as I was saying I like anything that is weird & I believe that this video would fall under the weird category. It is by "My Chemical Romance".
I know it has been awhile since I have posted, there just not much I have been wanting to say lately. It has been a little busy around here, esp. for Am with her working about 30 hours & going to school 12 hours a week. I haven't got to see her much lately, at least it seems that way but it gives me time to spend with the boys, we have men time. Plus when Amy is off from school & work we make sure we spend family time together.
If she can make it till the end of next summer she will have her degree in Pharmacy tech & she can move from working in seafood to the Pharmacy at the store she works at. Then while she is working there she can finish getting her degree in Medical Assistant. She hopes to get a job in a doctors office so she can work Monday through Friday with weekends off & hopefully the major holidays off. She mainly wanted to go to go back to school so she "better" herself, her words, not mine. Also she wants our boys to go to college, or at least a Tech. school & she didn't want to make them go when she didn't go.
Santa is going to bring the boys some good presents this year, I hope they get most of what they wanted for Christmas. Now that they are getting bigger they are harder to buy for because they know what they want & what they don't want. We have to go this week & finish getting them their gifts, we are running out of time, the holiday is getting closer & closer.
I have been doing alright I guess, I have leveled out, I am not as high as I was a few weeks ago which is good. I figure if I can stay leveled out & not start going down I will be alright, esp over the holiday season. I have been thinking on somethings from my past, things that I remember that nobody else seems to remember.
It will make you wonder what part of your memories are real & what isn't. I remember things from my childhood that my mom doesn't remember, I also remember things from my teenage years that my mom & sister don't remember. There are times Amy tells me of things that I either said or did but I don't remember.
That is bad enough not to remember certain things or remember things that might not have had really happened, however when you are prone to psychosis it puts it onto a whole new level. It makes you wonder how much of your memories are real & what are imagined. It makes you wonder what part of your life is real & what part of it is from the psychosis, it can really mess with you.
As of now I am doing alright, I am pretty sure of what is real & what isn't but I'm never really 100% sure. I haven't been 100% sure of anything for a long time now & I doubt I will ever be 100% sure, but if I can get around 90% I figure it to be a good day.
I want all three of my boys to have a happy life, I hope they will enjoy life & can know peace of mind. I worry about Trystan however, he is already on Stratterra for ADHD, & Topamax for his Bipolar& he sees a tdoc, & a pdoc, which I hope is a good thing, we caught it early & maybe he can have a more normal life. However like I said it makes me worry about him, I don't want him to go through what I have went through or to go through anything worse than what I have experienced.
He is a smart young man, he has been on the honor roll & he makes A's & B's in his subject except spelling but he brought it up from an F to a C+ this semester, if he can get it up a little more he will be on the honor roll this year. So he is ahead of the game already, I was lousy at school, I hated school, which he does to, but he is so much smarter then I was.
I also hope if Donavon or Jaydon winds up with Bi Polar we will catch it early & hopefully they can have a "normal" life, but if we are lucky they wont have it. I worry about this almost daily, God knows I don't want any of my children to have to deal with this & to know that Trystan already has this illness scares me for him. All I want is for my children to be happy in this life, to be able to love & be loved.
Donavon is already on Ferrous Sulfate , & Vitamin C because his iron level is low so I worry about him having Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia.
We went for his yearly evaluation for his speech at school last week & he is improving on his sounding out letters but they informed us that he failed his hearing test. They said they will retest him because he had been out a few days before the test was taken from being sick. So they want to make sure his results wasn't affected from his cold.
I hope that is what it was, I hope his cold had just not cleared all the way up when they took his test, this is what I hope, please God show mercy.
Jaydon went for his yearly eye checkup & they informed us that his bad eye had gotten a little worse. So they made his prescription a little stronger. We have to take him back on the 27th to check his sight again to see if patching his eye would help any.
I do not know why it seem like all of my children have a little bit of what I have. Trystan got the ADHD, & Bi Polar, Donavon got the speech problem, & Jaydon got the bad eyesight, if they are lucky none of them will get the H.H.T
If you haven't read my other posts on about the illness of H.H.T & wonder what the heck it is, here is a site you can check out to get a little information on it.
There has been a lot going on so I haven't posted much lately & I am not going to post much tonight. However I want to say this.....
Trystan had a birthday this past Sunday, he is growing up so fast on me. He is my little buddy, but I know before long he will be a little man who will want his "one space". He is 9 going on 16, it isn't fair.
Anyway it got me to thinking about my little girl, she would be turning 7 this month. It is hard to know how I should feel, because we lost her to a miscarriage & a few months later Amy was pregnant with Donavon who will be 7 in January.
I am happy we have Donavon, we were blessed to have had him but that is where it gets a little weird. If Amy hadn't of lost Mckayla we wouldn't have had Donavon, would've we?
In a perfect world I would have my three wonderful boys & my little girl, but I realized a long time ago that this world we live in is far from being perfect.
I love my children, I wouldn't give them up for anything, I am glad I was blessed with three wonderful boys, they are my world. With that said I want to say this, I miss my little girl, I miss the things I will never be able to do with her or for her.
I do not understand why we were blessed with her only to have her taken away from us before we even got to meet her. I never even got to hold my little baby girl. I never got to see her smile at me, I never got to hear her say daddy, or feel her wrap her finger around my finger. I will never get to look into her eyes & see her mother looking back at me.
I will never get to comb her hair & put it into a ponytail, or dress her in a little dress. I will never get to buy her a Barbie doll so she could imagine being whatever she wanted to be.
I will never get to scare her boyfriends off, lol, I will never get to see her go to her prom with the one she thinks she is in love with. I will never get walk her down the isle at her wedding, & I will never get to hold my grandchild that she would have given me one day.
I don't understand why I will never get to do any of these things but I do hope & pray that I will get to see her one day in heaven, if I get to go there that is. I love you Mckayla, Happy Birthday my sweetheart.
I heard this song & I cried to it, because it reminded me of the things I was robbed of being able to do for her one day, it's not fair!!
This video by "Rage Against The Machine" called "Testify" was about the 2000 election, but I believe it stands true today as it did 7 years ago. The only thing that is different are the players in this game they call Politics.
Plus now we have to listen to their lies about how they are going to handle the war in Iraq. You know the difference between a lawyer who tells the truth & a politician who tells the truth. There isn't any because neither one exists.
With the Primaries less than two months away we are in a worse position than we were 7 years ago, if you ask me, & if you didn't I don't care, it's my blog.
I am not saying you should or shouldn't vote, it is up to you, but like I have always said, it is trying to pick the least of two evils.
2007
Havent been by my site for awhile. 
I got a new post up you may want to read. 
Hope you have A BLESSED Week 
if your interested. 
at my place, come on over if you like. In any case my your holidays be stress free and blessed, remember you are truly an amazing unique spiritual creature 
and you are loved 
Sometimes we forget such thing 
, have a good thanks giving. 
hope your having fun with your children, and your doing good. I'm able to post to my journal here now. 
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